I love black thongs
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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