I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
