There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize