No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize