She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
