okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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