He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
