like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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