Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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