don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
