i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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