i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize