Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
