He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
