he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize