Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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