I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
