Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
