So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
