I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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