We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
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you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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