Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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