Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
