i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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