if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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