This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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