Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
