She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We are two peas in an std pod
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
