are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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