ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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