we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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