she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
