I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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