Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
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Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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