your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
