Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
