You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
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You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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