so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
where am i from again
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
