Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
