apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
