Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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