I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
