watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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