Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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