I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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