i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just tell him i said nine months
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
even my farts smell like vagina
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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