her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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