Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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