Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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