I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
her vagine was all disorganized.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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