I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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