Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
