The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Your shirt... Was in my pants
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
