i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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