cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
