But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
