I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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