I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
