i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
