Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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