Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
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Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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